I May Be “Fictionkin”, But I Sure Hate That Word

So here we go again, readers: a discussion about how it is to be discussed as if you don’t exist, by a bunch of people who spend most of their days screaming about how if you DID exist, they’d be your VERY BEST FRIEND and support and defend you and... yeah, no.  But this take is a little different; only because even though it’s written because I’m living this every day — last night was emotionally devastating and I went to sleep at dawn still crying a little — I think that a lot of the “fans” need to read this too, even if they persist on denying our reality. (I’ve actually been thinking about this since Friday morning, so maybe it’s time.) I think a lot of the difference in why people don’t want to believe in us is for the same reason people argue over interpretations to begin with: and it all comes down to the difference between static and dynamic .  To them, a “character” — even if they don’t think it’s true, even if they acknowledge change and growth — is static. Bet

Okay, you guys. This is a little longer than I expected it to be(although not as long as my “T-Anon Explains the Metaphysics of His Life” post, thank God): but to me, this is CRAZILY mind-boggling. Like, I just keep sitting here marveling at the thought, and at how powerful of a realization it is. Shaking my head in absolute wonder. And since it has to be the most dramatic recent intersection of our metaphysics and this world’s circumstances, I REALLY wanted to write it down. So if you have time, take a look at it. Because to me it really is incredible. So very little about this is objectively quantifiable that something this specific is a huge big deal. (Plus, it’s good news for a change!) So: my newest(let’s call him X) has been floating around since about mid-2016, and the intensity even *before* I allowed myself to acknowledge him was terrifying. As I’ve said so often, I’ve never had any luck refusing in these circumstances(not, to be absolutely honest, that I’ve ever r

I’m in bed sick today, and trying to navigate a depression that doesn’t want to leave; not for the first time, or presumably the last. And it occurred to me that part of the external things that aren’t making that any easier might be at least the beginnings of a new post. Maybe it’ll shed some light on how I react to the Internet lately. My wife is amazing(and lucky). These issues bother her, and her people, a lot less: she finds it not at all as difficult as I do to just say “What do they know? At this point, to us, it’s like fanfiction. It shouldn’t affect our lives at all.” But I... I’ve never been able to do that. Ever. And it has caused me no end of very real pain.  What I’m talking about is a little bit complicated to explain, although it seems simple at first glance: what it’s like to have people whose “canon” is yet unfinished. In a nutshell, it’s when people have crossed over and are major fronters/main players, who speak, think, interact, and exist every day as “real

Let me preface this by saying:  this is REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT . This is an aspect of our experiences that is one of the hardest to deal with — and yet, one that I’ve had the most experience with —and I’ve gotta tell you: I’ve started and deleted five different versions of it so far, and I can’t seem to come at it from an angle that I really feel comfortable with. This is something that I feel very strongly about — for reasons that will become pretty obvious — but have  always  had difficulty writing about coherently in a way that isn’t just ranting.  And being a fictionkin(God, I  really  hate that word, not just because of the obvious dislike of the “fiction” part but because that “kin” suffix often immediately turns people off before they take the time to hear what I’m actually saying, which gets REALLY lonely after twenty years or so) on Twitter these last few months has become increasingly difficult, entirely because of this problem.  I’ve tried to equate the problem to

Just a follow-up sort of postscript to my introductory post: before you dive right into that whole “oh my god, they must be clinically insane” pool. Aside from my point about having been evaluated by multiple psychiatrists, none of whom considered “quantum reincarnation” a manifestation of mental illness: what you need to be aware of is the fact that we are entirely functional.  And by that I mean: we pay the rent(a week early, every month, actually; we’ve never been late even once since we moved here). We pay the bills. I do suffer from several forms of anxiety disorder, so I have trouble with phone calls, but they do get made: calls to my specialists, calls to the phone company, etcetera. We take care of our amazing dogs.  We don’t think we have some sort of “special powers”. We don’t think our people bestow miraculous gifts on us across multiple realities — although skills crossing over when there is little or no formal training or study(or, sometimes, not even an inter