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The Conflict Within: When Wrong Things Happen(and Why Fandom Needs To Get a F***ing Grip)

Okay, folks. Today is a dual-purpose blog post, and although it might look too long for the TL;DR crowd, I promise you the paragraphs are short. But I’ve been fuming all week, because I’m part of a “fandom” from which ‘verse one of my two current primary fronters originates from... and I finally decided fuck it: recent events have made me decide to both “come out” more bluntly about that fact — this person is from the SW universe(I’m a “fictionkin”, if the blog title hasn’t made that clear, have been for almost thirty years; although I HATE the word/the “kin” association) — and the fandom has become overrun with shitty, toxic people.  I have a few choice words to say to them, as well as on a subject that’s been bothering me. So here are both as one, and I’ll kick it off with this: every week or so, I have at least one full-blown panic attack over the contents of Episode IX. (Stick with me and read to the end. It’s relevant.)  I’ve talked before about the difference between
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“Your Father He Is”: ‘Canon’ Reveals and Timeline Divergences

Right now, my Twitter timeline is full of outraged reactions to Avengers: Infinity War : without giving away spoilers here, a lot of these reactions are deeply personal hurts to a lot of people.  I’ve seen innumerable posts to the effect of “If X happens in (Y franchise), I’m DONE. That’s it. Game over. I won’t accept it. They can’t do (X thing)... can they?” And for once, my wife and I share their anxiety. Not because we’re outraged fans, though, and not because we feel like we have any right to anyone else’s creative direction; which some people might think is odd considering our daily lives. (We may be us, certainly. But we’re still not in charge of other people’s interpretations, for better or worse.)  No, we share their anxiety because in some of our people’s lives, some major, life-breaking, irreversible events have occurred... but in their “canon” timelines, these things have not happened yet. And they may happen, may not happen... or may be shut down hard because

Explained: Bi-Location and Picking Up the Pieces

So after this weekend — where a huge amount of difficult, gut-wrenching, and emotional events took place — it occurred to me that I often write here about the aspects of existing as we do that come into play when hearing or reading about these lives online(or otherwise), but not as much as I would have liked about what it’s actually like to live it. And since I’m doing my best to document the entire experience, in every facet I can think of, it seems like this is something I should probably cover: the phenomenon of “bi-location”.  This is a bit of a touchy subject for me, though; because it’s an aspect that is likely to be one of the most misunderstood. But as it provides context that might be necessary to understand the full import of some situations... I’m going to take that risk. As always, if there’s something that’s unclear — or you have something to say — you can leave it below in the comments. I’ll answer pretty much anything as long as it’s asked respectfully.  That

“It’s Not A Phase, Mom!”: The Discomfort of “Fandom Ownership”

Ever had someone speak for you— while you were standing right there? Maybe it’s someone who’s known you for a long time: your mother, say, or a pal from back in grade school. Maybe you’re having a conversation about politics and this person, eager to get your assumed support on their side, interrupts you with “Oh, Y would NEVER agree with so-and-so!”  Or maybe it’s something much simpler: a mutual friend invites you to dinner, and they proclaim “Y doesn’t like (insert food here)!” when the subject has just never come up. And maybe they’re someone you’d always trust to have your back in a pinch, but it doesn’t matter this time... because this time, they’re patently, unbelievably wrong. So you stand there kind of helplessly, not knowing how to respond to this: this assumption of your character. As you can probably imagine, this happens a lot to people who fall under the “fictionkin” label.  Particularly with the popularity of fandom social media circles, in which you can